The Song of Solomon is a love song. It extols the virtues and joy related to marital intimacy in a series of alternating declarations of a husband and his wife. The song is filled with beautiful imagery drawn from nature that describes both the wife, and the anticipation and exhilaration of marital love. This imagery is presented in a discreet manner that raises this song far above the crude and tawdry expressions of ungodly people.
One of the most profound statements in this love song is also one of the most simple. In SS 2:2 the husband declares, “Like a lily among the thorns, so is my darling among the maidens.” This brief statement encapsulates the essence of marital fidelity. In the eyes of this godly man, his wife is the most beautiful of all women. To him she is so beautiful that all other women are unsightly in comparison.
This does not mean that this godly man does not see or appreciate the physical beauty of other women. Instead, it affirms the place that his wife occupies in his heart. He is so focused on her, and is so committed to her, that no other woman can draw his attention or his desire. His devotion to his wife is so deep and pure that he cannot conceive of being unfaithful to her.
This is where the rubber meets the road in terms of marital relationships. When a man and a woman decide to marry, they must become as singular in their vision of each other as the godly man in Solomon’s song. The typical marriage vows contain the promise that the couple will forsake all others and keep themselves only for each other. Unfortunately, many make this solemn promise only to begin breaking it within a short period of time. What most would be unwilling to admit is that infidelity usually begins with nothing more than a look. When a man no longer sees his wife as a “lily among thorns”, he is opening up his heart to the kind of impure thoughts that can lead to unfaithfulness. He is dishonoring his marriage vows, and dishonoring the woman to whom he made those vows before God.
Solomon’s song is not the only place in scripture where marital fidelity is extolled and enjoined upon us. From the very beginning, when God made Eve and gave her to Adam, it has been God’s divine plan that one man and one woman should be married for life, and faithful to each other until death. When the Pharisees asked Jesus about their traditions concerning divorce, the Lord replied that such things were not a part of God’s plan (Mt. 19:3-9).
When Paul wrote about the qualities that should characterize elders in the church, one of the key elements was that an elder must be the husband of one wife (1 Tim. 3:2). The force of Paul’s statement, however, is not just the number of times a man might be married, but rather his attitude of heart about his wife. The Greek construction that Paul used literally means that an elder must be a “one-woman-kind-of-man”. In other words, he must be a man who sees his wife as a lily among thorns.
This is a high and noble and worthy standard. It is a divinely ordained attitude that must be taken seriously. The temporal blessings for doing so are great, as Solomon’s song clearly suggests. On the other hand, the temporal consequences of not doing so are terrible. The physical and emotional wreckage caused by marital infidelity cannot be overstated, and the spiritual and eternal consequences are even more severe. Solomon warns that one who pursues such will not go unpunished (Prov. 6:23-29). Therefore, to keep ourselves from sin and from condemnation, and to properly honor the woman he married, let each of us always look upon his wife as a lily among thorns.